'I Used Exercise As A Tool To Get Sober And Manage Anxiety. Now I Teach Women How To Do The Same.'

To others, I didn’t appear like I had a problem with alcohol, so I hid it for many years. I didn’t fit that stereotypical image of an alcoholic, but I could not go a day without alcohol. I had crippling anxiety, I was hospitalized, and eventually, it came to the point where I didn’t know if I was going to survive.

I first started using alcohol as a way to manage my anxiety. The more uncomfortable I felt, the more I drank. The more I drank, the more my anxiety increased. And the cycle continued. Leading up to my wedding in 2011, my drinking really escalated. A few days after the wedding, I broke down and told my husband I had a problem, beginning my year-and-a-half journey to seeking sobriety, in which my relationship with fitness would ultimately play a major role.

The final turning point occurred on April 23, 2013, when I blacked out while visiting my parents and woke up in the hospital. How close did I come to not waking up? I had no idea how I was going to clean up, all I knew was that I was so done with this lifestyle. It was a long, winding, non-linear road, but as I focused on making one small “right” choice after another. Slowly but surely, I began to take back my life.

With the early stages of sobriety behind me, holistically caring for my body became an important part of my life.

Later in 2013, I found out I was pregnant. I thought getting pregnant would be impossible after years and years of abusing my body, yet right before I hit one year of sobriety, my son was born. As someone who never took care of herself, the fact that my body was able to produce life felt like a miracle. From that moment forward, I committed to treating my body with respect—not just by not drinking—but by moving it and nourishing it as best as I could.

That mindset shift really started to change my relationship with exercise. When I was drinking, I often felt compelled to exercise to a specific duration or calorie deficit, using my workouts as a punishment for what I drank the night before. In sobriety, I began to view exercise as a way to celebrate and take care of my body, to treat my body with the respect it deserves. Movement became a tool I used to keep me mentally strong, to manage my anxiety, and to do something for myself.

After being inspired to help other women get fit, I found the confidence to share my own story.

After the birth of my second child in 2016, I started using an online program called BODi (at the time it was called Beachbody) to help me lose the baby weight. As a mother with two young kids, I didn’t have time to go to the gym. This program allowed me to get in a workout at home before my kids even woke up, or while they were playing at home, which helped me stay consistent with the movement my body craved.

In 2017, I decided I wanted to become a BODi coach. As part of the process, you have to share about your life and your story on social media, so that’s when I came out of the sober closet. For four years, I hid my story for fear of how others would respond, but after sharing online, I received nothing but love, encouragement, and support from my community. I wanted to become a coach to help other women lose weight and feel stronger, but when more and more people began messaging me about getting sober than getting fit, I ultimately decided it was my calling to become a sober coach instead.

Today, I use movement to cope with hard things.

I was in college when I first realized I could use substances to cope. Now, I use movement as a way to cope with difficult feelings. Recently, a dog killed eight of our family’s chickens, who were like family to us. As a way to honor them, I ran one mile for each chicken. Not only has exercise become a way to celebrate my body, but also a way to process sadness and grief.

After years of abusing my body with alcohol and exercising for all the wrong reasons, I now make a daily commitment to take care of it. Today, I do my best to listen to my body and give it what it needs each day: movement, sunshine, whole foods, sleep, personal development, and connection. I ask myself: What am I going through? What does my body need? Does it need to rest? Does it need to stretch? Does it need a walk? Maybe it needs something more high-intensity, so I can jam out to my favorite music and get those endorphins going. Or maybe I need to calm down my nervous system with some yoga.

Here's what a typical week for me looks like:

These three things were key to my transformation success:

I want to rebrand sobriety.

When I began my sobriety journey, people always told me I had to go to AA meetings. And I followed the program, but I credit so many things beyond AA with helping me stay sober. For me, it was exercise, reading, and gratitude.

It was also sharing my story and owning my narrative. Hiding my addiction only solidified the shame that I felt, so when I started my sobriety program, I was determined to harness the power of community. I believe that humans—and women, specifically—are more successful in our goals when we work together. We’re more likely to show up and do the right thing when we have someone to keep us accountable and offer support.

So, I want sobriety to be something that people are more curious about and accepting of—it’s fun and exciting and an incredible opportunity for nearly anyone. It’s something that’s going to open so many doors by giving you more energy, more confidence. I really want women to own their choices surrounding sobriety and feel confident about achieving the life that they want, rather than getting stuck in the narrative of something being wrong with them. You only have one life after all.

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